Sex and Relationship Coach: Azaria Menezes
Azaria Menezes aka The Pussy Fairy is a Sex and Relationship coach that works with women, moms and couples to bust through sexual or emotional blocks, so that they can feel turned on, ecstatic and orgasmic in and out of the bedroom. Azaria is fueled by a passion for supporting women and couples to be their authentic selves during intimacy and in their relationships so that there is way more room for pleasure, connection and desire. She loves supporting her clients to re-ignite that spark back into their sexuality or relationships so that they have the capacity to fall more in love with themselves and/or each other.
She also hosts the podcast : Getting Intimate where she brings practical ways to invite more pleasure into your body relationships and sex life.
Here she answer the Mama Sex Six:
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "mama sex"?
Hearing Mamma Sex gets me excited and bubbly becuase there is sooo much orgasmic, sexual and ectatic potential in motherhood. Motherhood is like a portal to new discoveries about your body, mind, heart and sexuality and this experience can be incredibly enriching if we shed the false beliefs that society has taught us about motherhood and sexuality. Mamma sex can be incredible and fulfilling and an opportunity to fall deeper in love with your body + sexuality and your realtionship. Sex after motherhood gives us the lessons on how to embrace the messiness and honour the ebbs and flow + to really get curious on how to move through our own shit and strech even bigger into pleasure.
What inspired you to work/create/advocate on the topic of "mama sex"?
As a mother of two, I remember having my first born, I was really young and was ready to leave my party days behind me. I had some preconceived ideas about what motherhood included and what it didn't. I threw my whole identity and self into mothering, being a mother was so incredibly transformational on its own I didn't really think about being in other elements of myself or my identity for that time I was just "Mom" .
I was so hyper focused on being the best mom and to be honest this actually didn't feel sustainable to me but I had no idea how to avoid burnout at the time. I had no idea of what it meant to practice self care, self love, prioritize myself and my sexuality. I felt like something was missing in my life, I felt like a part of me was missing. The part that feels connected to life, and freedom and joy and sexuality. The part of me that feels like a sensual woman and full of ecstatic energy, the woman who was sure of herself and really knew how to prioritize desires and needs. It just felt like there was no room for this woman in between tired and long nights, breastfeeding, entertaining my sweet little one and working. I am so grateful to know that at that time I was so wrong. The truth was : I could feel and be both the ecstatic woman I am and the mother at the same time.
When I started doing work around my own sexuality and connecting to the parts of myself that I had shut down, heal parts of myself that needed attention and nurtured the woman who wanted to be wild in her own way and terms is when things really started to shift for me. I realized that I didn't have to choose between being a mother and being connected to my orgasmic ecstatic energy + wildness. I could enjoy motherhood and infuse it with pleasure and sexual radiance as much as I could. There is no denying the power of sexual energy and what it can do for our lives, the power of a happy pussy and a woman who loves herself. It really felt like I was coming home to parts of myself that I had kept away because of what I thought motherhood should look like. It was beliefs like this that led me to put my sex life + sexuality, electric energy and erotic self on the backbench.
As a sex and relationship coach, it was so important to me that I coach mothers and support them into rediscovering that spark and embodiment to their erotic and sexual radiance. Mothering can be exhausting and a lot of us stop prioritizing the little things that can make a huge difference in our lives in service of others. Sex is one of those things that ends up last on the to do list, and when we disconnect from our sexual energy- our life force it can have an effect on so many areas of our life. The way we connect to our sexuality will reflect on our relationship with ourselves and our romantic relationships. I want moms to feel super empowered, excited and turned on about their sex lives. This is something that every woman deserves to feel and know in her bones, because as mothers we are worthy of our pleasure, orgasms and joy!
In your work/practice/art, what are the biggest hurdles mothers are facing in terms of their sexuality?
The biggest hurdles I see mothers facing around their sexuality in my work and from what I see in society is that women struggle to prioritize themselves or their sexuality.
A lot of the time there can even be feelings of guilt associated with taking time to do things that really bring them pleasure. It almost feels like a luxury for them and that they don't need self care but taking time to tend to those parts of your identity are incredibly important.
So much of our society is focused on the idea that mothers have to sacrifice all of themselves to be a good mother and to choose a certain way of mothering. This type of belief can often keep us stuck in motherhood, constantly feeling guilty when we do take time for ourselves, worrying about judgement etc.
Reframing this in love, empowerment and sovereignty can really support moms to create space for what actually feels good for them and how they can connect to their sexuality in their own unique way and of course ROCK motherhood at the same time.
You can have it all baby.
What do you think society at large should know about motherhood and sexuality? And what is society getting wrong right now in regards to it?
Motherhood and sexuality are one thing, Womanhood and motherhood don't have to be separated.
You can have a thriving sex life and enjoy motherhood to its fullest. Motherhood is not the end of pleasure + great sex. In fact it's an invitation to see how much more you can commit to your pleasure, your joy and your devotion to the part of you that loves + thrives in sexuality. It's also such a beautiful opportunity to heal your wounds around your body, sexuality + beliefs that you hold about motherhood. Society really needs to reframe what it means to be a mother and more importantly what you want to make it. FUCK the beliefs about motherhood + sexuality that don't serve or work for you. You can make motherhood yours and infuse it with sexuality in a way that feels good + healing + nourishing to you. Society has always kind of equaled motherhood to this gentle, nurturing, humble, non sexual image but guess what in 2021 your biggest most juiciest tool is the word AND.
You can be gentle, nurturing, humble AND you can be a women who LOVES sex, her sexuality, her erotic nature AND you can be a mom you can be whatever you want AND. It's time we break all the stigmas of what a mom should look like and should be doing and encourage mothers to feel empowered and confident in how they show up in motherhood + their sexuality in whatever way feels good and most nourishing to them.
What piece of sex advice would you give mothers? Was there something you wish someone had told you?
I wish someone had told me that my seuxality is more powerful than I know, that I can use it to heal, to cultivate joy and pleasure, to infuse it in motherhood and make it fucking amazing.
That I could use it to go deep into my emotional blockages + wounds and create new ways of being in my body and most of all that it could cultivate an incredible sense of empowerment, self love and liberation. I wish someone had told me that my body would have the capacity to liberate my emotions and expand my idea of what sex even is. That's important to do work with and around my sexuality. That my sexuality is earth shakingly infinite and sacred and that it can look however I want it to. Lastly and most importantly : to learn the language of my pussy, learn to communicate and listen to her yes's and no's so that sex comes from a place of a full fuck yes and to trust + feel empowered in my sexual choices.
Let's amplify our voice: Who are some mamas you love following on social media?
@mswrightsway
@thecaseyaksoy
@gofitjojo
@ishtadevi
@attunedwellness
Services Azaria Offers:
You can find all current offerings on Azaria's website here ( www.azariamenezes.com )
Azaria works with clients in a 1:1 or 2:1 setting, has a group program for moms called : Mom is a Bad Bitch, as well as her date night mini course : Make her Purr, and much more.
@azaria.menezes on instagram
"Getting Intimate" on your favourite podcast app
