Early Motherhood Intimacy Coach: Chelsea Skaggs
Chelsea is an early motherhood coach who specializes in intimacy and identity after having a baby. She's a fiery redheaded mom of two and queen of taboo motherhood topics.
Here she answers the Mama Sex Six:
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "mama sex"?
The intersection of responsibility and play. Although, when I really break it down, they aren't as distinct and different as our brains naturally want to compartmentalize them to be.
What inspired you to work/create/advocate on the topic of "mama sex"?
The bulk of my work is centered on supporting women through the first year of their lives after baby(ies). Within the first couple of group coaching programs I ran, I noticed that sex, intimacy, and relationships touched almost every change that we discussed. It is a huge part of who we are and yet a topic that is left to be taboo, breeding shame and often distance. The more I dug into these patterns and pieces, the more I saw many women struggle with this piece of their identity. This discovery brought it to the top of my work in many ways.
In your work/practice/art, what are the biggest hurdles mothers are facing in terms of their sexuality?
Finding space to understand all of their personal changes in the midst of being caretakers of others. We also live in this society that makes motherhood and sexuality seem so distant from one another, and many women struggle to give permission to themselves (and one another) for the natural overlap.
What do you think society at large should know about motherhood and sexuality? And what is society getting wrong right now in regards to it?
I think society at large should know and normalize that becoming a mother does not make one less of a sensual and sexual woman. The martyr and supermom narrative takes away the power and needs of a woman in many ways, including sexuality. Society is getting in wrong in the dominance that sexuality has to be bold and rebellious and overtaking- where for many mothers it is a woven piece of who she is, but she is often hiding it to seem more "proper."
What piece of sex advice would you give mothers? Was there something you wish someone had told you?
My first piece of advice, and that which I wish I had earlier, is to make it a priority to rediscover yourself and your sexuality after having a baby. Get to know your changed body. Appreciate it. Embrace it. Learn what she does and doesn't like so that you can communicate that more effectively with your partner.
Let's amplify our voice: Who are some mamas you love following on social media?
Danielle Simone Brand, author of Weed Mom, talks about sexuality and the cannabis overlap.
Apple of @iamsexyafterkids
Abi Marsh @reinventyouridentity
Services Chelsea Offers:
Chelsea provides small group and individual coaching to women who want to discover and use their powerful voices.
www.postpartumtogether.com
instagram.com/postpartumtogether
instagram.com/chels.keeps.it.real
