Pelvic Health Physiotherapist: Clare Bourne
Clare Bourne is a pelvic health physiotherapist and Mum of 2 based in London, with a real passion to support women during pregnancy and postnatal to live pain and symptom free. She believes education is key to women feeling empowered and supported and loves to use social media to raise awareness of lots of taboo topics.
Here she answers the Mama Sex Six:
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "mama sex"?
Is everything ok? This is because my job is to work with Mums who are struggling after birth with painful sex. Having worked with many new mums I know that there can be many barriers to sex, including pain, time, exhaustion and low libido.
What inspired you to work/create/advocate on the topic of "mama sex"?
As a pelvic health physiotherapist it is a big part of our role to support women with painful intercourse and through it I became aware that lots of women didn’t even have awareness that there was help out there, or that the problem may be related to their pelvic floor muscles. So I have tried to talk about it more on social media and via podcasts to open up the conversation more. Once we are able to speak about it more, it is easier to find help.
In your work/practice/art, what are the biggest hurdles mothers are facing in terms of their sexuality?
I think what I see is a big barrier to being able to get help when there is an issue. Lots being told ‘this is just part of having a baby’ or ‘just have a glass of wine’. Not being heard and concerns being acknowledged and then living in pain for a long time has a huge impact on a women’s desire and libido and relationships. We need to do better as 83% of women have reported experiencing pain sex and sexual dysfunction after having a baby.
What do you think society at large should know about motherhood and sexuality? And what is society getting wrong right now in regards to it?
I think we still need to learn more and understand how to support mothers in their transition to motherhood and their physical recovery. Women themselves are told very little of how to care for themselves after birth and so if they don’t know I don’t know how wider society can know. Basic education around expectations, and that vaginal tissues are dryer when breastfeeding so the need for lubricant is higher in the postpartum period and that any tears that have healed are likely to be tender and so gentle massage of these can help, can make a huge difference. I feel if more health visitors and GPs had basic awareness of this, or it was covered more in antenatal education then it could make a huge difference. Most importantly of all we need to know that if you are struggling there IS help.
What piece of sex advice would you give mothers? Was there something you wish someone had told you?
6 weeks is not some magic cut off, so if you don’t feel ready then that is fine. Just make sure you and your partner have an open conversation about expectations and how you are feeling. Definitely use lubricant and if it is painful a few times or you just can’t allow penetration due to pain, then please seek help.
Let's amplify our voice: Who are some mamas you love following on social media?
@katemoyletherapy
@andbreathewellbeing
@theobgynmum
@shakira.akabusi
@the_sex_talking_mama
@charlielaunder
@_luluadams
@drpunamkrishan
@the_gp_mum
Services Clare Offers:
Clare provides pelvic health physiotherapy appointments in clinic or at home, or virtually. She can help with anything from pregnancy related pelvic girdle pain, to incontinence or prolapse after birth and painful intercourse.
Email: hello@clare-bourne.com
Instagram: @clarebournephysio
