Womb Medicine: Kristin Hauser
Kristin Hauser is a Licensed Acupuncturist and Herbalist, somatic sex educator and mama of two. She is also the founder of Womb Medicine, an educational platform for embodied healing for women’s sexual health. Her clinical practice is focused on womb cycle vitality and hormonal resilience, fertility through postpartum. You can find more about working with her one on one at www.healingiswithin.us or learn more about her online courses at www.wombmedicine.com.
Here she answers the Mama Sex Six:
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "mama sex"?
When I hear the phrase “mama sex” I immediately think of power, pleasure and possibility. Bringing these two words together is a reclamation of the inherent power of sexuality that brings us to the threshold of motherhood (in most cases!). It represents the possibility to transform the cultural narrative around sexuality and motherhood. While I think the majority would have a different thought trajectory when considering this phrase, myself and so many others are taking a stand for sexual identity integration within the sex-birth-motherhood continuum. This phrase represents excitement and maturation within myself and I hope others can begin to transform shame and unearth their desires as mothers and sexual beings.
What inspired you to work/create/advocate on the topic of "mama sex"?
I got started in this work around 2016 at the intersection of my clinical practice as an acupuncturist and herbalist, completing a somatic sex educator certification and my own preparation for motherhood (A somatic sex educator provides education and resources for body literacy, embodied healing, and sexual identity integration that centers your lived experience). My clinical practice has always been focused on womb cycle vitality (the expression of health and wholeness in the realm of womb, pelvic, sexual and hormonal health that is available to those who claim it) and hormonal resilience, fertility through postpartum. I sat with many women healing in the postpartum time and even though things would be improving for them physically and psycho-emotionally, there often remained some lingering unknowns around how to return to themselves sexually after birth. This was reflected to me time and time again.
I knew that the somatic sex education skills would compliment the clinical work I was doing. New moms need reflection and witnessing from other new moms and also from mothers who are perhaps a few steps ahead
on the path. I started to bring that in to the work I was doing with postpartum women. After going through the transformation portal myself and feeling the seismic shift that birth can bring sexually, I gathered my resources and experiences into a live online course offering. I taught that course, Mother Sex Alchemy, for the first time in 2020 after having two births in two years and around the time my youngest turned one year old.
Mother Sex Alchemy combines postpartum pelvic healing practices alongside the exploration of transforming genital and sexual shame, all while discovering new facets of your identity as mother and absorbing the healing balm of community support.
In your work/practice/art, what are the biggest hurdles mothers are facing in terms of their sexuality?
Mothers are often facing a combination of challenges in the postpartum years as it relates to their sexual identity. Perhaps the most important to mention is the general lack of care and regard for the immediate postpartum time. If mothers aren’t well cared for by their own families and communities in the fourth trimester, it will make sense when or if they struggle in any capacity, including sexually! We have to prioritize meeting the universal postpartum needs: an extended rest period, nutrient dense food, warmth and containment, spiritual guidance (often from other mothers) and contact with nature. Many don’t receive this essential level of care, not to mention that they may have a birth injury or birth related trauma that is not attended to.
Physical pain is a very real barrier for many women to approach their own sexuality again. Of course, there are also all the very practical barriers around sexuality postpartum, like time and all the competing needs. With that said, what I often see underneath these layers as it relates more directly to sexuality is an inability to connect with one’s true desire. It can feel as if desire is buried underground, hidden away in a dark, untouchable place. Fortunately, this presents an opportunity for sexual maturation and deepening intimacy with self and others. With skilled support and some embodied healing practices, mothers can unearth their desires and marvel at their nuance, complexity and transformation at any stage postpartum.
What do you think society at large should know about motherhood and sexuality? And what is society getting wrong right now in regards to it?
I think everyone needs to recognize that when it comes to sexuality, variety is the norm, and how mothers change sexually after birth or don’t will also vary! It’s so important for society at large to understand the importance of caring for new moms and new families. This greatly affects the new family and the community around them, and eventually ripples out to transform our culture. If babies and mothers are cared for in the beginning months postpartum, they can emerge stronger and more centered in their own power, including their sexual power.
Motherhood is inherently sexual. That is also essential for us to wrap our historically repressive and shame-filled culture minds around! We have many narratives that work to separate motherhood from sexuality, yet in their essence these are not in opposition. Instead, motherhood and sexuality emerge from the same place, a place of erotic vitality. Society at large is getting a lot wrong when it comes to motherhood and sexuality, but it’s not surprising when you recognize the sex negative culture and the lack of body and pleasure literacy for most. It’s no one’s fault that this is where we are right now, yet we need to find a generative way forward for everyone.
What piece of sex advice would you give mothers? Was there something you wish someone had told you?
I have a lot of advice I could give but a lot of comes down to this: don’t have sex you don’t like and slow down. It seems simple but it’s not necessarily easy for many reasons. Many come into motherhood with expectations of how it will be, sometimes those align with reality and many times they don’t. Many women also carry past sexual experiences or even trauma that may arise postpartum to be alchemized.
If you layer into that the cultural narratives around sex, lack of understanding of female pleasure or anatomy and potentially a birth injury or trauma, it gets complex. These issues require loving attention, potentially professional support or education and resources. Honoring where you are at and trying to not expect your body to perform or be a certain way or even want similar sexual experiences as you did before is groundwork for moving towards your desire and pleasure. Slowing down gives your body time to heal and recover in the short term but also leaves more space for orienting towards pleasure and sex in a way that is interesting and nourishing to you now.
Let's amplify our voice: Who are some mamas you love following on social media?
Rachelle Garcia Seliga @innatetraditions
Toi Marie Smith @toimarie
Services Kristin offers:
Postpartum and Mother Health Practitioner, Sex Educator. I offer 1:1 office visits, virtual consultations and online courses.
Find her on Instagram here (link:
https://www.instagram.com/kristinhauser/)
Find her on Facebook here (link:
https://www.facebook.com/healingiswithinus)
